What is it you truly desire

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T.I. sung “you can have whatever you like” but how many of us actually know what we really want? How many of us know what we want our life to be?

I like this quote because it emphasizes how we need to know what we really want. With this understanding, you can be 100% happy exactly where you are today, or you can decide you want to colonize Mars. The struggle is discovering what you truly desire and then not getting distracted by everything else.

I think the majority of us go through life without fully thinking about what we want. We stay on the surface and look for the next dopamine dump. We chase the status symbols.

• We want the raise at work

• We want to buy a new pair of shoes

• We want the fancy car

• We want a bigger house

• We want to go to Michelin Starred restaurants

But none of these define who we are. They do not tell us what we truly want.

What do I want in life?

I have been trying to figure this out for years. Ever since I was young I wanted to be an Engineer, but I never really knew why. Now, I am an Engineer but I also do so many other things. I think that’s because being an Engineer fulfills many of my desires but not all of them.

Over the years I have created a short list of my core values. These are what makes me fulfilled in life:

• I love to learn

• I love to grow as a person

• I love to help people live their best life possible

• I love new experiences

• I love having a flexible schedule to allow for more opportunities – PS I do not currently have this but it is a goal

• I love having routines (discipline equals freedom)

• I love to create something out of nothing – AKA design

• I love to exercise and push my body

I have followed many different interests throughout life and the ones that have stuck are those that were aligned with the majority of my core values. The times in my life that I struggled with purpose and passion are when I pursued people or projects that neglected many of those core values.

With so many core values it is obvious that there is not one thing I truly desire, instead there is a list. I want to find the pursuits in life that check off as many of those boxes as possible. I am not the type of person that will go all-in on one single path, instead, I like to dabble in many things. Even though that means I will not be as “successful” as some other people, according to society’s definition of success. Instead, I will be successful by being the truest version of myself.

Reflections

This year I have spent a significant amount of time and mental energy reflecting on my last few years and deciding on the best path for the upcoming year. Looking at my calendar and bank statement a few things are obvious:

1. Learning is one of my favorite uses of time

2. I enjoy time with friends and family

3. I look forward to every workout

4. I miss traveling

5. I enjoy sharing my journey; both on the blog and on my woodworking Youtube

6. Each project always takes at least twice as long as expected which causes me to be over booked and over stressed

7. I need to keep more time open in my calendar for fun

Next Year’s Path

In 2022 I want to focus even more on my core values and that will mean adjusting how I spend time. This next year I plan to:

• Learn as much as possible in writing, coaching, business, sales, and more specific skills (video editing, graphic design, woodworking, ect)

• Share more in this blog and on Youtube

• Have more time in my schedule for fun: meeting friends for a beer, having a picnic with my wife, and visiting my grandparents

• Push my body to be in even better shape than I was last year (including the CrossFit Open, running a half marathon, and a Spartan Race).

Summary

There are so many paths in this life and the options are both liberating and overwhelming. I think one of the most important tasks you can do is to take the time to understand what makes you tick and what you want in life.

When you know what you are looking for in life it is much easier to make decisions that support being yourself and move you towards what you truly desire.