How To Set Goals - Before New Years

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Introduction to goal setting

We all go through ups and downs, sometimes this changes weekly and sometimes ups or downs can last years. The one thing that is constant is the benefit of having a direction (also known as a goal). This is true whether you are feeling up or feeling down.

We have that magical time between Christmas and January 1st where all the chocolate is eaten and we have not exercised for a week and now motivation for change is at the all-time highest (or is that just me?).

We come up with these fantastic things called New Years Resolutions, but let me ask you something, do they ever work? Come June do we even remember what they were? This repeating pattern of setting goals that seldom are accomplished leaves us feeling like a broken record and worse than we felt before. Let’s be honest it is the same goal year after year: Lose weight, exercise more, spend more quality time with family and friends, and get that raise at work.

In order to see the success that you want there are a few simple changes to the goal-setting process that can make a world of difference. This article is here to serve as a guide for those who find themselves often setting goals but not as often achieving them.

Why we fail at setting goals

There are a million and one reasons that goals didn’t work and I bet these sound familiar:

I would have lost the weight but I had a wedding and birthday party to go to
I would have gone on that dream vacation but I couldn’t save enough money
I would get more sleep if I could just start work later but then the rest of my schedule would be thrown off (this is my current excuse by the way)
I would have won that competition but I couldn’t train enough because of Covid

All of these excuses are legit. I know because I have/do use them all. But guess what? They are still just excuses.

The reason we fail is simple but that does not mean it is easy to fix.

We lack priorities.

We love to set goals when we are full of motivation and we like to set our goals based on the absolute best case scenario (and not the realistic scenario) which often sets us up for failure from the start. We need to instead be realistic and realize there will be ups and downs and that it is far better to set easier goals that have room for error. Play the long game, for example, lose 10 pounds over 6 months, instead of 2 months. The pain in this is that we always want immediate results, but we forget that 6 months from now, we will just be happy losing the 10 pounds.

Create a goal list

To start setting goals write down a list of all of your goals. Here is a sample of my goals.

Have a thriving relationship
Travel abroad every 1-2 years
Build a house
Have high energy all day and not feel drained and tired
Have clear thoughts and focus throughout day
Be in the top three at my gym
Visible 6 pack.
Spend more time with family and friends
Live pain free
Be financially free
Learn piano
Build a blog that reaches 1 million people
Create handmade items that improve everyday life
Read more books
Constantly learn

I have a lot of goals and it would be overwhelming to try to focus on every single one of them. Instead, time needs to be spent planning and understanding why I have each goal and then refining the list.

Edit the list

Try reducing the list to bare-bones feelings and outcomes. Often times a goal is just a blanket that is protecting a deeper feeling. Here is a rewritten list that summarizes the goals into the base feeling.

Have an impact on the world
Build a blog that helps 1 million people
Create handmade items that improve everyday life
Be healthy and happy
Have a thriving relationship
Have high energy all day and not feel drained and tired
Have clear thoughts and focus all day
Be in the top three at my gym
Visible 6 pack
Live pain free
Connect with family and friends
Have freedom of finances and schedule
Travel abroad every 1-2 years
Learn piano
Spend more time with family and friends
Read more books
Build a house
Afford more woodworking tools (pretty sure this is the most expensive hobby out there)

Edit the list again

After you go through the edited goals list take the top categories and write them down.

Create impact in the world by improving other people’s everyday life
Be healthy and happy
Have freedom of finances and schedule

Create the mindset/avatar

From your refined list identify what kind of person exhibits those traits. It’s helpful if you can visualize an actual person or a mentor that has the traits you want. This becomes your avatar.

The key to achieving goals is being the type of person that would achieve those goals. This means focusing on the process and not the results.

For example, on my above goals, an avatar on Saturday morning would wake up from a restful sleep, have coffee and connect with their spouse (obviously by destroying them at Mario Kart), spend time working on their craft, exercise, go for an adventure/have fun, and eat nutritious food.

Track the vital metrics

Now that you have established what your real goals are, we need to establish what vital metrics lead to achieving those goals. Vital metric are tasks that if you repeatedly do will bring you closer to your goal. It also must be worded in a way that makes it easily trackable.

Goal: Create impact in the world by improving other’s everyday life
Vital Metric 1: Work on handmade items for BH Craft
Vital Metric 2: Work on Brandon Rose sharing blog posts and Youtube videos

Goal: Be healthy and happy
Vital Metric 1: Achieve a sleep score of 75 or higher each night (with the Oura ring)
Vital Metric 2: Exercise
Vital Metric 3: Mobility
Vital Metric 4: Eat the right amount of food
Vital Metric 5: Connect with friends and family

Goal: Have freedom of finances and schedule
Vital Metric 1: Spend within budget
Vital Metric 2: Improve skills and mindset that provide more value to others

Focus on the one thing

From your refined list identify what one thing you can also focus on that will move the needle the most. In other words, what one thing can you do that will make everything else easier, or not even necessary to do. This is not an easy part to figure out. When you are struggling to figure out what the most important factor is, try to imagine yourself only focusing on one single item or task, and that one thing must contribute to each goal. After much deliberation, the one thing finally jumped out at me.

Focus on the long-term infinite game (if you haven’t read Simon Sinek’s Infinite Game I would recommend it).

This means that I need to recalibrate my thinking for the long term, and know that there is no end goal. Instead, I want things to continually improve and grow. I shouldn’t sacrifice tomorrow for a small payoff today. I need to build a sustainable lifestyle that will have me enjoying every day while compounding my value to others tomorrow. Tactically this means:

Live within budget (calorie, finance, and time) so I do not get fat, broke, or burnt out.
Constantly be learning and sharing what I have learned.
Enjoy life as much as possible today without robbing from tomorrow.

Review progress and readjust

Spending all of this time setting goals and tracking them is useless if you do not review and adjust. There is no perfect formula for life but the best formula is one that will constantly change through the different seasons of life. Being reflective and adjustable is one of the most important skills I have learned and it did not come easy.

In order to review progress, you need a system to review both the hard numbers and the soft feelings. I like to do this continuously and not yearly. My thinking is if something is not working or not adding value to my life, why would I want to wait till the end of the year to review and adjust (AKA New Year’s Resolutions). If I want to have a change in life, I would rather make it today than wait till January 1.

The way I do reviews is by first having a routine check-in. I use the Five Minute Journal, a Google Spread Sheet, and my wife.

My canary in the coal mine is when I stop filling out my journal and google spreadsheet. When I put too much on my plate the first to go is my journaling and check-in.
My sleep score and weight. If my sleep score is dropping or my weight is increasing (not intentionally). This means that I am carrying too much stress, or overindulging today with disregard for my long-term success.
My wife. When I have too much going on I become much more cranky (I’m sure my co-workers would agree, sorry Steve and Andy). So when she asks me if something is wrong, or ask what is bugging me I know I need to make some changes.

As simple as the above is, it is very powerful. I am always going to be pushing myself and by my own nature, I will push myself towards doing too much and burning out. So more often than not I need to say no and keep a sustainable schedule by doing less than I am capable of that day. Your mileage may vary, and instead, you may need to push yourself to do more than you are used to each day.

Summary

Figure out what you truly desire and why. Spend time thinking of this and truly get to the real reason why, if you skip this step you can find yourself chasing a goal that is actually not what you want.
Create a list of vital metrics to work on and track daily. These are the most important aspects that will allow you to achieve your goals.
Review not only if you are working on the most important tasks but also your state: are you happy, fulfilled, and growing?
Re-adjust: In your review, if things are not going as planned or you realize that your goals are not actually the ones you truly desire then re-adjust.
Play the Infinite Game. Everything in life compounds, not only wealth but also happiness and misery. Make sure that your daily habits are positive for the life you want. See this blog post for more details on creating daily habits).
Do not hesitate or wait. You do not need to wait till January 1st. Make changes today, and start on the path towards the life you want and deserve.