Birthday Reflections: 31 trips around the sun

This post contains affiliate links that help supports this blog and cost you the exact same. If you do not wish to use affiliate links, then feel free to google the product.

Every birthday I like to reflect on the past year; what has gone well and what I wish I could have changed. This year’s reflection will be the first time I am actually writing it down and I’m excited to start this new tradition. Hopefully, there is something in here you will relate to and can derive value from, please enjoy the read!

The Tape Measure

A few years ago my dad turned to me and asked “how much of the tape do you have left?” Now my dad has had a tape measure in his hand for longer than I’ve been alive, so even though I had no idea what he was talking about I was not surprised it involved a tape measure.

He extends out the tape measure and asks me how long I expect to live for. Being thrown off I told him “I really didn’t know but let’s say 90 years.”

From here he pulls out the tape until 90 inches is showing. He then turns to me and says “do you see how much of the tape you have left?” I was 27 at the time so I was pretty happy that I still had 2/3rds of the tape measure remaining.

He then says “it’s not looking as good for me” and puts his finger on 63, he only has a third left.

The tape measure is a simple way to see your life visually. Every inch is a year and it’s running out. While looking at the tape measure I realized although I still feel young, I’m making my way up and every year there is one less inch remaining on that tape.

This year really hit me and made me think of how I need to make the most out of every year so that when I’m getting up towards the end of my tape I don’t look back wishing I had done more, had more experiences, laughed more often, and all of the other things that make this life so wonderful.

So with that, this blog post marks my 31st inch on my tape measure and I’m looking forward to sharing my reflections on some of my favorite parts, and the parts I wish I did differently.

Best Books

I really enjoy books, and I consume them in audio, kindle, and print formats. Oftentimes, if a book is particularly good I will buy it in both audio and a kindle/print format. Below is my list of the best books I read this year.

Gary Keller – The one thing
The impact this book had on me was surprising. When I was reading it, I completed related to all of his points but never thought it would have the effect it did. The concept of this book is that no matter what you are doing, find the one thing that is most important and focus on that. Don’t worry about your to-do list of 20 items, just find the one most important one, focus on that, and forget the rest. I use this every single day and it has not only opened up my world to what is possible but has also reduced my stress.

Ramit Sethi – I will teach you to be rich
Even though the title is a little much, this is a fantastic book. It has changed my psychology on money. The most important part for me was the idea of creating a rich life. This is a thought experiment where you imagine what your life would look like if you had all the money you could need. From there I ask myself, “how much of this can I do now?” This was eye-opening because so many of the parts of my dream rich life I didn’t even need to be rich for. Much of it was reducing stress and having more freedom in my schedule. Turns out, the only thing preventing me from doing this was me.

Dale Carnegie – How to win friends and influence people
I have read this book 3 times and every time I find more value in it. I believe everyone should read this book. In short, the most important person to anyone is themselves. If you want something from someone, figure out what you can do for them and put your offer in terms that they care about. And for heaven’s sake, treat people with respect and kindness.

James Clear – Atomic Habits
This book is referenced time and time again. I have read it twice and it did not disappoint. Habits, also known as daily practices or routines are the key to success. Figure out what routines will point you towards success and do them day in and day out. By doing this you will eventually end up at your destination. The most important part is to realize, that this takes a long time and almost everything will get hard at one point. Make your routines simple and easy enough that you can stick to them even when everything else is going poorly.

Tim Ferriss – Tribe of mentors
This book is a collection of thoughts and examples from a huge range of successful people. Reading this book I realized there is no one formula for success. The best way to be successful is to define your own success and play the long game. It appears so many people do not know what success looks like for them, instead, they are sitting there waiting for something to happen but not realizing that it is up to them to create the life they want. My favorite quote along these lines is:

“I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more,
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store;

For Life is just an employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial’s hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have paid.”

– Jessie B. Rittenhouse

Key Thoughts

Everyone is nice, but you have to go first.

I read about this concept in Tim Ferriss’ book Tribe of Mentors. It is an idea introduced by Gabrielle Reece and I have used it countless times. The idea is that everyone is nice, but you need to go first. What this means is that everyone wants to say hi, but they are awkward (just like you and don’t know how to start the conversation). Now any time I want to say something, I just go first and don’t wait for others to initiate.

Focus on skills. Over the years everything I have done and been interested in has evolved and I have realized that the development of skills opens more doors and improves life more than anything else. So many different skills are synergistic and apply to different areas of life. For example, I can learn something very specific for woodworking to later find out the exact same technique or mindset applies to cooking or to writing.

Play the Infinite game, not the finite game. So much of the luck attributed to being successful can be sidestepped by just being in the game for a very long time. Focusing on the long-term infinite game is like constantly saving and allowing your wealth to compound. The stress happens when people are too focused on the immediate payoff and make decisions for today, at the expense of the long term (quarterly earnings instead of long-term customer satisfaction for example).

There is always a third door. Throughout this year I have faced many hard decisions and each time there appeared to be only two choices, each one with pros and cons. However, I realized that there was always a third option, which was always better than either of the other two. PS: The right choice is most often the one that keeps the most number of doors open.

The one thing. I have struggled with having way too much on my plate for as long as I can remember. Throughout my life, I have tried to be “productive” and always get as much done as possible, but often I went to bed both burnt out and upset that I didn’t complete my list. After reading Gary Keller’s book I started to focus on the most important parts of each day and stopped worrying about everything else on my list. I realized if I got the most important thing done then the rest really didn’t matter. This changed how I felt and now I go to bed thankful and not stressed.

Parkinson’s Law. Parkinson’s law described the phenomenon that tasks will always swell in complexity to encompass the allotted time. This means that if you have two hours to write a blog post you will create two hours of work. However, if you have 2 weeks, then you will grow the complexity of the task to fit that time. The impact of this is twofold.

One: Before you start anything make sure you have a very well-defined scope of what your desired outcome is. Spending more time in the planning phase will always pay dividends when you sit down to do the work.

“If I had 8 hours to chop a tree, I would spend the first 6 sharpening my axe” – Abraham Lincoln

Two: You can use this law to your advantage by not giving yourself enough time to be distracted and work on non-value-added tasks. I found this accidentally by having a full-time Engineering job, a woodworking side business, and now a lifestyle engineering blog, while trying to keep healthy and have a thriving relationship. It turns out that by careful time management you can do them all if you only focus on the key tasks and remove a lot of the expectations for the low-level items.

Favorite Youtube Channels

Grant Cardone – He is an interesting guy and certainly not for everyone. Grant is a real estate billionaire that wrote the 10X Rule. His main idea is that you can achieve exponentially more by changing your mindset and removing your limiting beliefs.

Ali Abdaal – He is a young doctor/YouTuber that created a niche on productivity videos, initially for studying tips. I have enjoyed watching his inspiring videos and seeing how many people one person can impact.

Ben Francis – Gymshark creator. Gymshark is one of the largest fitness apparel brands today and it was created by a very young brit. His videos show the behind the scenes work that goes into cohesive branding and marketing.

Alex Hormozi – Alex is the owner of several businesses (mostly in the fitness industry) and on his channel, he shares the no thrills no filter thought process to decision making for business.

Blacktail Studio – This is currently my favorite woodworking channel. It’s slow and full of dry humor. Blacktail makes incredible live edge tables and it is fascinating to see the workflow.

Recommendations

The Oura Ring – This is the one piece of tech I use every single day, without fail. The Oura ring tracks sleep and has allowed me to figure out the cause and effect of different choices on my sleep. I have set rules for myself to help perform with as high of performance as I can each day:

• Get a 75+ sleep score (80 is awesome for me)
• No food or booze within two hours of sleep
• Nothing productive an hour before bed
• Cold, pitch black room
• Have a routine bedtime and wake-up time

Frying pan lid – I absolutely love my All-Clad 12in stainless frying pans, but they make a giant mess with spattering oil when grilling or frying. For a very long time I wanted a lid but couldn’t justify spending the money on a matching All-Clad one. This year I bought a $30 12” glass lid on Amazon and it’s amazing.

Salt Cellar – Nothing has improved my cooking more than proper seasoning. This isn’t a new purchase but using a salt cellar with kosher salt has been a game changer. I am using a beautiful Olive wood one my wife and I picked up in Bellagio, Italy.

The year in review

Looking back at my year there are some activities that always made me feel better, and some that took energy and left me feeling worse. There are also some purchases that I’m grateful for and some that were just a waste of money.

Things I am going to do more of next year

• Creating videos for BH Craft
• Reducing to a small selection of items for BH Craft
• Board game nights with friends
• Getting the best sleep possible
• Mobility (particularly for traps and neck)
• Travel (fingers crossed)

Things I am going to do less of next year

• Eating food that doesn’t serve me
• Drinking
• Trying to be productive an hour before bed
• Overscheduling myself
• Taking on too many orders for BH Craft

Favorite Purchases

• CNC Machine
• Crossfit monthly membership
• Peloton
• GoodFood
• Audible
• Books
• Trips & Experiences (Victoria, Nelson, Sparkling Hill)
• Blundstone work boots
• Pre Scheduled monthly hair cuts
• Quality face cleanser and moisturizer
• Brandon Rose Website
• Google Pixel Buds (Bluetooth In-Ear Head Phones)
• Phil and Cornelius (our Monstera plant and Umbrella tree)

Accomplishments

• Launched this website
• Lost 20 lbs
• Ran over 100 km in a month
• Had a thriving relationship during the pandemic
• Progressed BH Craft
• Over 2000 views on BH Craft Youtube Channel
• Bought and learned how to CNC program and machine
• Read a lot of books
• Darren Hardy – Insane Productivity
• Darren Hardy – Ludicrous Leadership
• Ralph Kison – Sales Diamond for Engineers
• Started Project24 (a blogging and Youtube Course)

Goals for next year

• Run a half Marathon
• Qualify for Crossfit Open Quarter Finals
• Post one blog a week
• Post 2 Youtube Videos a Month
• Travel again (thanks Covid!)

Summary

This last year has been a tough one. Covid really got to me and, to be honest, I had a lot of ups and downs. I often felt burnt out with work and there were a lot of hard days. There were times when I just wanted to stay in bed and not face the day. But there were also a lot of days that I was full of motivation and was ready to conquer the world.

Looking back, I see my 30th year as one of the most important transition years. This is the year I realized that life is not lived in isolation, instead, most aspects of life are not a zero-sum game. Meaning ,you can provide 10X the value to someone, and get 10X the value back. I also learned by pointing yourself in the right direction and playing the long game you can get far. Most of the very successful people did not get there overnight. They have been working on it for decades.

For my next year on Earth (and hopefully for many after that) I am going to push myself. I want to dream so big I am scared. I want to be uncomfortable; I want to be on the edge of what I believe is possible. I want to show up day after day, I want to play the Infinite game, and I want to provide so much value to others.

I want to be what I am capable of being.

PS: Only the Amazon links are affiliate links. Amazon affiliate links give me small percent of the purchase (this helps support the blog) and it costs you the exact same amount. If you do not want to use an affiliate link just search for the item without using the provided link 🙂